Picture two kindergartners playing a hybrid game of Simon Says and Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders. When the teacher says "touch your head," she actually wants the children to reach down and touch their toes and vice versa. Some children override the spoken command to follow the teacher's directions - some children can't help from tapping their head.

Seems inconsequential, but according to a recent study in Developing Psychology, by the end of a nine-month school year, the children who excel at this game will have propelled 3.4 months ahead of the other children in math, and two months ahead in vocabulary. That's just one of several findings in the growing body of research on "self-regulation," -- people's ability to stop, think, plan, and control their impulses -- also related to self-discipline.

The search for what exactly makes some children succeed in school has perplexed educators, parents and policymakers for decades. The quest has focused on the usual suspects as IQ, family demographics, and learning styles. The recent study of the ability to control one's behavior in purposeful ways e.g., to study instead of watching TV; to plan and carry through in long-range homework assignments; has enormous implications for children later in life -- as many an adult's credit card debt will attest.

Researchers are revisiting past research, such as psychologist Walter Mischel's famous "Marshmallow Study" from the 1960s, in which a marshmallow was placed in from of a hungery 4-year-old who was told that she could eat the treat right then, or have two if she waited until the researcher returned. About a third had the self-discipline to wait. Followed for years, these particular children had better school outcomes, and scored more than 200 points higher on the SAT than their less-disciplined counterparts.

Unfortunately, "children are getting less and less practice in self-regulation," says Deborah Leong, a psychology professor at Denver's Metropolitan State College. Parents provide too much direct imput and control over school projects and not enough coaching. They jump in with help at the first sign of frustration. And TV and passive video games do not contribute at all to this skill set.

In response to this trend, Leong and Elena Bodrova developed a pre-school curriculum called "Tools of the Mind," currently in use in hundreds of preschools. The touchstone of their program is the concept of "deliberate play." Children create a "play plan" and then spend a staggering 45-60 minutes acting out their roles. Chidren learn to help one another to regulate themselves.

This is not a universal skill, but the good news is that it can be learned. Children who were taught to think first and act second improved in the Heads-Toes-Knees-Shoulders game and academically as well. And adults can learn and apply this concept as well. For how many illconceived decisions are rooted in the process of acting without thinking first?